Monkeying Around

"The light touched the curves of his face,
I caught a glimpse of pain.
For a second I saw through his eyes,
I knew my love hadn't died in vain." --- ME

Oops! I did again [how corny!!]..No I didn't play with anyone's heart, I asked for mine to be assaulted and to be run over by heavy duty emotional torture. Don't feel bad for me it was all self-inflicted pain. I decided to go to the Monkey Bar.
Now, The Monkey Bar doesn't have a machine that does it to you. No coins to insert and Voila! One heart-break coming right up. Served piping hot!!..
Wouldn't that be something? I'm sure no one would ever use it. (Grunt)

One if my favourite drinking buddies - who happens to be my now ex-boyfriend - was there, invited by none other than yours truly. Why? Because I am an idiot. Hoping against hope is a skill I have mastered over the years. My parents call it being stubborn. I think that is an incorrect evaluation. I believe in optimism to the extent that 'NO', 'Negative', 'Nee', 'Non' are words that my brain refuses to register. A side-effect of this condition is guaranteed humiliation. There it was for me. On the platter dressed up beautifully. HUMILIATION.
In my hopefulness I slipped into my habit of questioning the 'Nos' and and the 'Nee's only to hear more No No No No No.
So once again I had my nose rubbed in the dirt. As I explained earlier, don't feel bad for me. I brought it on myself.
I have seen it again. I am not 'compatible' to anyone. No one I have been with so far. I don't think I will be.
May be its got to do with my extreme optimism or 'stubbornness' (I still refuse to believe that I am)...
Humiliating adventures to be continued... (see I still haven't learnt)