"It ran through her veins like blood
it was life, or something like it.
She couldn't remember the last time
she felt alive.
It was new again,
resurrected from the ashes
It was her again." ---ME
The Drama Queen has arrived! This time in London and to no one's surprise as she sits here on a rare sunny day in London, she is massively hungover. Yes, she was out all night but this time it cost her a bit. "This is London town woman," I had heard someone say. Well bollocks! to London town. Its 6 freaking pounds for a drink!!!! And for a budding alcoholic like me, that means going bankrupt if I want to have a good enough buzz.
Anyway my dislike for London began the instant I had a rude man throw a paper pellete on my back because I ignored his lude comments. I mean WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY? You have cows parading in Prada and men who insist on making sleazy remarks at you and expect a reaction!! No reaction is not an option!! What happened to democracy? And freedom of not wanting to talk if you don't want to.
So, after recovering from that first encounter with British men I walked home with my best friend. We decided to have a girl's night out...Oh! what a nightmare that turned out be..
Hoards of men, none worthy of my notice. (Not that I needed to net a man) So from Noting Hill to Glouster Road the three Musketeeresses went in search of worthy gentlemen. I'm sorry to say that it turned out to be a mission impossible.
So I returned drunk as ever and pennyless!!
Blah!
Friday, October 27, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
He is no longer mine
"This is where I take the open road.
I give up on love and on the one I love. He has gone too far and I am tired of trying to catch-up.
It doesn't really matter now, because there's nothing to be said.
I remember telling him not to make me wait forever, because I would.
I couldn't find a reason to let go.
I can't find a reason to hold on.
I didn't know that he would make me wait forever.
So I have waited. At night I have woken up crying.
I have pictured myself dying
All I am hoping for,
Someday, he will change his mind
And no I will not spend my life trying to catch-up.
I am moving on but I can't help hoping that he will change his mind.
But, atleast now I know he will never be mine." ----ME
From now on, no more lovesick blogs..I solemnly swear..
adios
I give up on love and on the one I love. He has gone too far and I am tired of trying to catch-up.
It doesn't really matter now, because there's nothing to be said.
I remember telling him not to make me wait forever, because I would.
I couldn't find a reason to let go.
I can't find a reason to hold on.
I didn't know that he would make me wait forever.
So I have waited. At night I have woken up crying.
I have pictured myself dying
All I am hoping for,
Someday, he will change his mind
And no I will not spend my life trying to catch-up.
I am moving on but I can't help hoping that he will change his mind.
But, atleast now I know he will never be mine." ----ME
From now on, no more lovesick blogs..I solemnly swear..
adios
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Friday's Child
"Yes, they admired her,
maybe even loved her.
They laid out the carpet for her,
opened the bubbly for her.
With grace she smiled, treading carefully.
Her eyes fixed on a distant dream,
her heart frozen, so it seemed.
She was searching for her answer.
The answer that was him" --- ME
I write as my head thumps and my stomach jumps. These are consequences of partying in a town with no moral fibre. What has moral fibre got to do with a hangover you ask?
Picture this: Kate Moss (or any other woman you fancy) in a perfectly fitted very revealing piece of clothing. Now imagine someone 20 times fatter and uglier wearing something like that.
Yep! This is where I live. Where cows dress in Prada knock offs thinking that they will look like mermaids if they did so. Now, coming back to the previous question about what this has to do with my hangover. A night out in this town is a very bad idea. However, if you decide to subject yourself to such torture you need sufficient intoxication so that the rain, the cold and the scantily clad sumo-sized women do not affect your psychological health. I've heard men say, "Well, such clothes leave nothing to imagination." Bullshit! Cow's in skimpy Gucci or Prada or Zara, boost your imagination.
You start by trying to figure out "Why in the world do they dress like that?" then you go on to, "how many people did it take to get them into that?" finally you try to imagine whether their intention is to attract attention. Of course it is! Since they are cows, they never thought that walking on two legs in hot pants would not draw attention but turn them into a 'pay attention sign', one that says "HEAVY DUTY FASHION NIGHTMARE."
In small letters underneath it says ::Injurious to your mental health::
I confess I am a victim of such trauma. I witnessed the run of such cows towards a taxi last night. The trauma was caused at the sight of them clutching their breasts and running to prevent them from popping out of their 3 square centimetre attires.
I will take this traumatic memory to my grave. Oh! How cruel Wales has been to me!!
Anyway, for my part, I don't understand what I was doing there. Not like I was interested in starting my dairy industry. But I did indulge in insanity by wearing a short dress. But I was completely covered in leggings. It seemed quite popular with the bulls, a little too popular for my own good.
I remember going up to the bar to get a drink and a not so respectable bull on heats stood behind me and did the copulation dance in close proximity to my arse. Another trauma. Serves me right for not being a cow and grossly under-dressed.
And I am still not over my ex. Nothing helps, not even the alcohol.
Yes, the drama queen has found something to be upset about again. Sympathies are welcome *wink*
maybe even loved her.
They laid out the carpet for her,
opened the bubbly for her.
With grace she smiled, treading carefully.
Her eyes fixed on a distant dream,
her heart frozen, so it seemed.
She was searching for her answer.
The answer that was him" --- ME
I write as my head thumps and my stomach jumps. These are consequences of partying in a town with no moral fibre. What has moral fibre got to do with a hangover you ask?
Picture this: Kate Moss (or any other woman you fancy) in a perfectly fitted very revealing piece of clothing. Now imagine someone 20 times fatter and uglier wearing something like that.
Yep! This is where I live. Where cows dress in Prada knock offs thinking that they will look like mermaids if they did so. Now, coming back to the previous question about what this has to do with my hangover. A night out in this town is a very bad idea. However, if you decide to subject yourself to such torture you need sufficient intoxication so that the rain, the cold and the scantily clad sumo-sized women do not affect your psychological health. I've heard men say, "Well, such clothes leave nothing to imagination." Bullshit! Cow's in skimpy Gucci or Prada or Zara, boost your imagination.
You start by trying to figure out "Why in the world do they dress like that?" then you go on to, "how many people did it take to get them into that?" finally you try to imagine whether their intention is to attract attention. Of course it is! Since they are cows, they never thought that walking on two legs in hot pants would not draw attention but turn them into a 'pay attention sign', one that says "HEAVY DUTY FASHION NIGHTMARE."
In small letters underneath it says ::Injurious to your mental health::
I confess I am a victim of such trauma. I witnessed the run of such cows towards a taxi last night. The trauma was caused at the sight of them clutching their breasts and running to prevent them from popping out of their 3 square centimetre attires.
I will take this traumatic memory to my grave. Oh! How cruel Wales has been to me!!
Anyway, for my part, I don't understand what I was doing there. Not like I was interested in starting my dairy industry. But I did indulge in insanity by wearing a short dress. But I was completely covered in leggings. It seemed quite popular with the bulls, a little too popular for my own good.
I remember going up to the bar to get a drink and a not so respectable bull on heats stood behind me and did the copulation dance in close proximity to my arse. Another trauma. Serves me right for not being a cow and grossly under-dressed.
And I am still not over my ex. Nothing helps, not even the alcohol.
Yes, the drama queen has found something to be upset about again. Sympathies are welcome *wink*
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Monkeying Around
"The light touched the curves of his face,
I caught a glimpse of pain.
For a second I saw through his eyes,
I knew my love hadn't died in vain." --- ME
Oops! I did again [how corny!!]..No I didn't play with anyone's heart, I asked for mine to be assaulted and to be run over by heavy duty emotional torture. Don't feel bad for me it was all self-inflicted pain. I decided to go to the Monkey Bar.
Now, The Monkey Bar doesn't have a machine that does it to you. No coins to insert and Voila! One heart-break coming right up. Served piping hot!!..
Wouldn't that be something? I'm sure no one would ever use it. (Grunt)
One if my favourite drinking buddies - who happens to be my now ex-boyfriend - was there, invited by none other than yours truly. Why? Because I am an idiot. Hoping against hope is a skill I have mastered over the years. My parents call it being stubborn. I think that is an incorrect evaluation. I believe in optimism to the extent that 'NO', 'Negative', 'Nee', 'Non' are words that my brain refuses to register. A side-effect of this condition is guaranteed humiliation. There it was for me. On the platter dressed up beautifully. HUMILIATION.
In my hopefulness I slipped into my habit of questioning the 'Nos' and and the 'Nee's only to hear more No No No No No.
So once again I had my nose rubbed in the dirt. As I explained earlier, don't feel bad for me. I brought it on myself.
I have seen it again. I am not 'compatible' to anyone. No one I have been with so far. I don't think I will be.
May be its got to do with my extreme optimism or 'stubbornness' (I still refuse to believe that I am)...
Humiliating adventures to be continued... (see I still haven't learnt)
I caught a glimpse of pain.
For a second I saw through his eyes,
I knew my love hadn't died in vain." --- ME
Oops! I did again [how corny!!]..No I didn't play with anyone's heart, I asked for mine to be assaulted and to be run over by heavy duty emotional torture. Don't feel bad for me it was all self-inflicted pain. I decided to go to the Monkey Bar.
Now, The Monkey Bar doesn't have a machine that does it to you. No coins to insert and Voila! One heart-break coming right up. Served piping hot!!..
Wouldn't that be something? I'm sure no one would ever use it. (Grunt)
One if my favourite drinking buddies - who happens to be my now ex-boyfriend - was there, invited by none other than yours truly. Why? Because I am an idiot. Hoping against hope is a skill I have mastered over the years. My parents call it being stubborn. I think that is an incorrect evaluation. I believe in optimism to the extent that 'NO', 'Negative', 'Nee', 'Non' are words that my brain refuses to register. A side-effect of this condition is guaranteed humiliation. There it was for me. On the platter dressed up beautifully. HUMILIATION.
In my hopefulness I slipped into my habit of questioning the 'Nos' and and the 'Nee's only to hear more No No No No No.
So once again I had my nose rubbed in the dirt. As I explained earlier, don't feel bad for me. I brought it on myself.
I have seen it again. I am not 'compatible' to anyone. No one I have been with so far. I don't think I will be.
May be its got to do with my extreme optimism or 'stubbornness' (I still refuse to believe that I am)...
Humiliating adventures to be continued... (see I still haven't learnt)
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Seaside Suicide
"I woke to the calling of sea..
The silent waves broke and disappeared.
The shore is faded. The sky was light.
There is no colour
Only black and white." ---ME
Recently I was told to update my blogs regularly. Well, I doubt too many out there are interested in my crummy little life, which seems to have gotten crummier.
Yes, yes more ranting and babbling up ahead. I like to complain. In fact, I create situations in my life that would allow me to complain and sulk. If you have read my previous blogs, then you will know that I have recently moved to Wales.
Over the summer, I have had a wonderful time travelling back to Amsterdam and then going on to Berlin and Prague before setting up shop in Wales. ATTENTION Travel bugs: Prague is a must see!!! And cheap cheap cheap.
My lovely memories of my holiday have been scarred by a nasty break-up with my boyfriend...Well...not that nasty but I have to complain you see.
This is where I actually own up to being wacko woman. I drove the poor guy to insanity with my behaviour. Picture this!! last night I called the man more than 50 times because he hung up on me!!!
So for those singles out there, even thinking of dating me....DON'T
I don't come with warning signs. I am like one of those wonder products that you get so used to (to the extent that you cannot do without them) and they give you cancer after 20 years.
The truth of the matter is I am hopelessly depressed. I stared at the sea for a long time yesterday just wanting to jump in and disappear. Wonder what it would be like..
I can picture myself floating. The water chills my bones. I am trying really hard to drown, the my face can feel the last few bubbles of air escaping from my nose. Then I have a moment of Zen and I realise that I should not be dying but its too late!!! What a tragedy that would be.
Anyway, I have embarrassed myself to the core and I doubt that the man I so hopelessly adore will ever want to talk to me again.
The good thing however is now I know I am mad, I will not get into any relationships henceforth. (Yeah yeah I know everyone says that, but everyone is not cuckoo in the head like me)
I promise to update this blog from now on regularly...
The silent waves broke and disappeared.
The shore is faded. The sky was light.
There is no colour
Only black and white." ---ME
Recently I was told to update my blogs regularly. Well, I doubt too many out there are interested in my crummy little life, which seems to have gotten crummier.
Yes, yes more ranting and babbling up ahead. I like to complain. In fact, I create situations in my life that would allow me to complain and sulk. If you have read my previous blogs, then you will know that I have recently moved to Wales.
Over the summer, I have had a wonderful time travelling back to Amsterdam and then going on to Berlin and Prague before setting up shop in Wales. ATTENTION Travel bugs: Prague is a must see!!! And cheap cheap cheap.
My lovely memories of my holiday have been scarred by a nasty break-up with my boyfriend...Well...not that nasty but I have to complain you see.
This is where I actually own up to being wacko woman. I drove the poor guy to insanity with my behaviour. Picture this!! last night I called the man more than 50 times because he hung up on me!!!
So for those singles out there, even thinking of dating me....DON'T
I don't come with warning signs. I am like one of those wonder products that you get so used to (to the extent that you cannot do without them) and they give you cancer after 20 years.
The truth of the matter is I am hopelessly depressed. I stared at the sea for a long time yesterday just wanting to jump in and disappear. Wonder what it would be like..
I can picture myself floating. The water chills my bones. I am trying really hard to drown, the my face can feel the last few bubbles of air escaping from my nose. Then I have a moment of Zen and I realise that I should not be dying but its too late!!! What a tragedy that would be.
Anyway, I have embarrassed myself to the core and I doubt that the man I so hopelessly adore will ever want to talk to me again.
The good thing however is now I know I am mad, I will not get into any relationships henceforth. (Yeah yeah I know everyone says that, but everyone is not cuckoo in the head like me)
I promise to update this blog from now on regularly...
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