Another love lost

It is funny how most of us look back at our lives and laugh about the hard the times. The times when all had seemed lost and we thought we fucked things up beyond repair. As time goes by, you are reminded that nothing in life is constant - not even your pain and misery.

That said... I'm stilled pained by my pennilessness! And this misery has been constant for a while. This misery, however, has been a product of my own doing, hence undoable as soon as I have learnt the art of saving ;) [I am hoping I will master this skill within the next couple of weeks since I have so much time on my hands these days]

My new job – which I really do like by the way – offers excellent working conditions, including the absence of long hours of being stuck at my desk. In the days leading up to the New Year (2009) the press office phone has barely rung with media enquiries. I therefore have 8 hours of twiddling thumbs to do each day until the eve of 31st. No, I am not complaining, merely stating that I have so much time on my hands that I can sit at work and read whatever I like. My quest for reading led me back to a blog entry I wrote back in the end of 2006 – the year I had moved to the UK.

It seems eons ago! Haha! I was such a drama queen! Well I still am to an extent but not so much anymore. I smiled as I read my hysterical rant. I have since then been through three redundancies, met more than 15 interesting men in the past two years – none of whom I have remotely wanted to fall in love with – and moved to a lovely apartment in London. I have also grown a healthy layer of self-confidence and contentment!

How did I come so far I wonder? End of 2006, I am now reminded, was very traumatic for me and I had no clue what I was doing with my life or…where I wanted to go…just that I was sad. All because some boy had broken my heart!

2009 is now around the corner, and guess what, I am alive and kicking. Kicking myself in the arse that I have been a fool again…I am heart broken again…ahahahaha…but I am in no way hysterical, sad or lost as a result of it.

My faith in myself didn’t falter this time, I didn’t feel like my life would come to a standstill. I realised I no longer need a significant other’s validation, approval or even attention in order to feel good about myself. In fact, though I am sad that my new found dream boy and I have to go our separate ways, I am happier to have met him and known him.