Love and Other Disasters

"If you'd call my name out loud,
If you'd call my name out loud,
Do you suppose that I would come running,
Do you suppose I'd come at all,
I suppose I would" --- 'Out Loud' by Dispatch

The Drama in this Drama Queens life seems to have no end. I lie here on a weeknight after having watched a chickflick.... Yes, Yes! One more about love and the disasters associated with it. The reason for staying up this late is my utter boredom and being handicapped!

The last week was spent in sunny Malta. Everywhere I looked there was blue sea, beautiful endless blue. The cliffs hung over this topaz-coloured ocean, each with their distinct expressions. The waves crashed and rose again. It seemed like nature's symphony, almost as if the waves and the rocks were trying to break down the barriers between them so that they could communicate. But they couldn't. The waves rose and crashed at the foot of every cliff, while the patient rocks waited and listened. They had done this for so long now, but still they stood over the ocean and paid it their silence and patience.

It was bliss falling asleep to the sound of the sea and waking to the cries of seagulls and boats in the Sliema harbour. Sliema is a city along the coast of Malta. I saw endless boats, the traditional ones with bright colours and the ultra-chic yatchs that millionaires used to cruise around the waters of Malta and Gozo.

It was dreamland, it was my paradise. But that was not why i was there. Killing time in the magnificence of Malta was not brought on by a holiday. My foundations had been shaken by my father who was critically ill and lying in a hospital in Malta. I flew out there to see him. Which was a complete disaster in itself.

The outbound disasters:

I flew out of London on a crisp Wednesday morning. Traffic as usual was crap....but my amazing Polish lady cab driver made sure i was there in time for check-in. So for once i was there at the airport in time and in my senses !! Not for long. The princessepa lands in Milan where she has to kill some time before boarding her flight to Malta. She doesn't make it. Alitalia changes the gate numbers at the last moment so here i am at the wrong gate hearing my name being called by Alitalia I beg and ask for help from the ground staff. No use, the flights leaves. I stay! No more flights to Malta i am told!! Not only that I had to buy new tickets to get the next flight which was more than 24 hours away! I spent three hours crying at the airport wondering how my dad was doing!! I make frantic phone calls to everyone i know. My sister in New Zealand, my friends in Amsterdam, my mother in Bombay, my friends in London, my friends in Italy etc...

However, I spent the night in Milano with a friend i had not met in 10 years!!! It was amazing to catch up over a bottle of wine and some dinner which she was gracious enough to cook for me...didn't feel like that much time had passed. Although she has been married for five years now, and i wasn't even at her wedding. I have no clue why, where was i?
Anyway, I arrived in Malta, the sun kissed my face and the wind blew into my hair...an all too comforting welcome from the forces of nature. I had a happy tune playing in my head until at the luggage department they said my bag hadn't arrived!!!

I was in the same clothes for three days already!!! ughh!!!


Anyway, I had arrived, and i was happy to see dad. He looked frail and weak. This really shook the ground beneath my feet. My dad to me is the strongest man on the planet. He is my rock, my supreme court and my world bank. Seeing him in that state snapped me into realising a lot of things.
That i needed to start saving for a rainy day, though this time it didn't pour that bad. But the sudden wake up call that your parents are getting old is a hard one to face up to.

Malta and Gozo and the Blue Lagoon!!

The islands presented me with a sense of peace and calm and 7000 years of history. They had been ruled by every perceivable power in the Mediterranean, from the Romans to the Turks to the British. This is the reason why the Maltese 'look' isn't uniform. Its a culture that has emerged from centuries of varied influences. People have names like Matthew Metcallif, showing their Arabic heritage and the very Christian present. As, I mentioned earlier, there was beauty everywhere you looked. In the old buildings, in the new ones and the golden haze everywhere brought on by the limestone constructions which reflected the sunlight in all their vigour.
Though there wasn't much time to see the splendour there was, I was content with whatever came my way. My primary purpose of being there was dad.

Big fall on the rebound

Did was discharged and in my jubilant mood i took a tumble down the stairs of the hospital rupturing a ligament in my ankle. The result, a life confined to crutches for at least two weeks and travel in wheel chair class.
It's funny how people look at you from that height. Some people stare outright, some act condescending and try to help you out even though you don't need their help. Overall, its not a very nice feeling. Though people may not mean it, they end up belittling you.


Now... back to the present...
I'm sitting with my foot propped up on a pillow laptop et all at arms length. No need to even move to get to the essentials. I haven't indulged in alcohol at all, been eating healthy and low calorie food as i fear i may be a few kilos heavier once i am able to weigh myself!!

I've watched two romantic comedies so far today and i feel very angry at myself. Was just thinking to myself why do these movies make me feel inadequate!! Like finding love is the ultimate aim if people's existence. Bull @%$*!

Anyway I still feel miserable and I know i am still the soft and disgustingly soppy stereotype of women..bleh...

That's it! Time to call it a night!!