Blocked Again: Story of Dead Brain Cells

"The puddles welcomed the droplets
as they metled into one big ripple.
Winter seemed to send its signal,
I'll be here soon, be ready. " ---ME


The computer lab was my humble abode and the library my refuge. It's yet another Friday, but I am happy to report that this Saturday morning will not see me hungover or with an ugly smelly man next to me. I shall rise early and have yet another constructive day.
Boo! It almost doesn't sound like me. Well, its not me. I have been extremely far behind on my classwork and to top it all I took on a freelance assignment for 'Femina Girl'. (Its a teeny magazine in India for those who are not so well informed *wink*)
Remember I said its a wonder I can still spell at the rate that I drink? I spoke too early. I have been pondering, that too in vain, over my assignments. I have labouriously stared at a blank page for an entire day. I sat in the lab and looked at the page from afternoon till evening! I cannot say that I wasn't distracted by the lesbian trio sitting beside me in the Postgraduate working area. (For the men with runaway imaginations: calm down. It was mostly hugging and smiling.)
Anyway, so the drama queen tried and tried to think of words that make sense and a story that was consistent. Nada! Nul! Zero!!!
So, I decided to just walk home and cook and eat. As if I had not had enough torture, it began to pour from the heavens. Yes, rain! In confirmation with Murphy's Law, I had no umbrella and no raincoat. :)
So a failed writer came home soaking wet!!!

"Hey baby those blues are calling, tossed salads and scrambled eggs...They're calling again..." (Fraiser's song)

Adios amigos..

One Vodka, Two Vodka, Three, Four....Baileys mmm

"Drip, Drip, Drip
The bucket was filling
Up, Up, Up
The level was rising
Blib, Blib, Blib
SPLASH...it's all over" ---ME


I knew I was taking the wrong turn. I knew it was going to end in disaster. But I still did the wrong thing which was disastrous. Dumbness? Stupidity? Insanity? ...I don't know.
This is the third blog I write with my stomach revolting and my head spinning. Yes, drinking I've been again. The twist this time is, I was literally drunk out of my wits. I didn't know which way was home. I have upgraded from being a budding acloholic to a full-blown aclohol addict who kills half her brain everytime she drinks. Which is quite often (It's a wonder I can still spell)
How do I drink so much? ...I don't know..The first vodka went slowly, the second one a little faster..the third was a gulp and then I lost count :). Think I should rename my blog to "Days in the life of a manic depressive acloholic"..doesn't strike a chord, does it? Naah...it won't sell..
Anyway, this morning I woke to beautiful sunshine streaming through my window in my soft warm bed and duvet, I stretched my arms and yawned. AND ALL HELL BROKE LOSE..
I could smell my own stink...bleh!!! The whisky drink, and the vodka drink...and the mmmm Bailey's.
Thank god I didn't have a guy next to me. I am confident my breath would have lulled him into a comfortable coma! And I would spend the rest of my days praying he wakes up with amnesia or a smelling disorder.
Come to think of it, considering my level of drunken-ness, if I was to wake up next to an unknown man, I think I would WISH I WAS IN A COMA! He would probably look like the ugly Welsh bulls or sheep that we have around here. So thank god for small mercies. Drunk and smelly but no ugly smellier man next to me...hehe
So, point made. (About how drunk I was).
My roomies say I passed out on the floor and snored all night.
But then again, how did I end up in my bed??



Rambling to be continued...

Till Kingdom Come

"Memory is a dangerous thing, As long as there is no past, these memories don't last, There is a price for remembering One end, is another beginning." ---ME


All of us have this perfect picture of our lives and how we would like it to be. The decisions we make today are based on a better, brighter, richer, nicer tomorrow. However, the mistakes or failings are a direct result of losing track of that picture of tomorrow. There has been a lot of soul searching, fact finding and inward analysis by the Drama Queen in the past few weeks.
She has realised that her being a drama queen, is in fact, A FACT!!
Big Big achievement on my part. "APPLAUSE PLEASE" Hah! There she is doing it again...Looking for attention.
EEW this is turning into a Bridget Jones diary...I can assure you this is, in no way, an attempt to imitate Ms Jones. Anyway, she never wrote it online for the whole world to see. But then again, she wasn't a drama queen...Hmmm come to think of it, she is a bit of it.
Ok back to the topic. ME.
This is where I confess and make determinations for the future. The much publicized (mostly by me) break-up left me feeling helpless, hopeless and brainless. My heart had taken over my grey cells. Very bad condition. I can only blame myself though, for not keep my head on my shoulders. What I did instead was shoved it up my arse!!!
Today, I decided to run, like a coward. I decided to quit the programme that offers me this luxury of visiting countries and maybe, just maybe (if I worked hard enough) become a good and successful journalist. Why? Because I had become Butthead...(haven't found beavis yet...and thank god for that). It took a blast from the past to whip me into shape.
An old friend, one of my oldest friends, called from home. It amazing what miracles lie in little conversations with someone who has known you for your entire existence.
I finally heard the call of the earth and pulled my head out of my butt and suddenly there was light...haha
So my determination is to work hard on the programme (which I am not good at) and make sure I have that villa by the sea in Portugal and that dream car.
Just remembered Alfred Lord Tennysons The Brooke
"Men will come, and men will go, but I go on forever."

I will survive...this time, is mine.