"The ice melts in glass, I watch the droplets line the rim.
My sweaty vodka goes down...smooth and lemony. I turn to the world outside. It's passing me by with every sip.
The smoke from my cigarette rises to sting my eyes,
I blink the tears away. No. I'm not crying, there is no sadness.
Only emptiness, as the world passes me by with every sip.
Another sip, and a little more gone.
The red buses go and come, everyone's making their way home.
Another sip, and a little more gone. ----Me"
Twenty four and much more is what I was told to sing this birthday. Oh yes! I am older but I doubt if I am any wiser. The last few months have been the hardest times of my life. For those who don't know me or my life, here's a sneak preview.
\\I have been one of those fortunate Third World kids who have lived a "First World" life. I never had a dearth of anything. I have travelled the world with my parents and as I got older it was useless having them around. Everything I wanted I got. So it is no surprise that I have been used to having my way all the time.\Now back to the future...At present I am pursuing my masters in journalism. (Oh I forgot to mention that I happen to be a journalist by profession....AND A GOOD ONE AT THAT) I have a hefty stipend sponsored by the EU's European Commission. Yes yes I am grateful. No, don't you think for one second that I wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise. Whether I would choose to do it is a different issue.
The last year has been spent in Denmark and Holland as a part of study. Denmark was beautiful but meaningless. I can't seem to remember what I did. The whole six months in Arhus (happens to be the second largest city in Denmark) was spent in a drunken haze. Therefore, the result is memory lapses. But no, it was fun. Drinking with Danes is a pleasure just as long as they are not pimple faced juveniles who want to impress you. Because they end up doing just the opposite.
Amsterdam on the other hand, (yes who the hell in their right minds goes to Amsterdam to study unless its PhD in drug abuse or sexology or something!!!) was the city where I learnt not only about drugs and sex and rock and roll, but also most about myself. It is the city which I liked instantly, it was home at the same time it was a city I came to hate after a while. The tourists got on my nerves, the expressionless Dutch sometimes drove me insane. The constant partying caused financial mishaps. And being the princess that I am, working as a toilet cleaner or menial jobs of that kind were just not acceptable. So in the end I left Amsterdam with no money and a lot of memories, good ones and ones that will haunt me forever.
Anyway, I have come to realise that I have lived being this needy, dependent, dumb arse who is incapable of taking care of my life and being organised.
My next destination is Wales, where I am to spend about a year studying War and Conflict reporting. I know! What you are thinking. It must be a joke. No its not. I am passionate about making a difference. So what if I haven't lifted a finger at home to even drop my clothes in the laundry basket!! I am not Ms. CLueless or straight out of Legally Blonde, I may have been a lazy pampered kid so long, but I'm not dumb and I care about things like development in conflict zones like Congo.
It however has dawned on me that in order to reach my goal of helping in bringing peace to this world (Oh yes I know I sound like a Miss World contestant...Yuck!...No I'm not a beauty contest freak), I need to be self sufficient and less dependent on the world to get things right.
Yeah it sounds simple, but in the context of my life it is a HUGE task.
So...I shall keep the world posted on my endeavors to save the planet...
until then,
adios
